


Point of No Return

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Jealousy, Language, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 22:20:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16921485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Castiel wanted to know what it was like to have a relationship.  So, Dean decided to teach him how to pick up women in at the bar.  Cas is a quick learner, much to Dean’s amusement…but much to Dean’s dismay, he didn’t realize that you were in love with the angel. Inspired by "Point of No Return" from Phantom of the Opera





	1. Chapter 1

_Past the point of no return, no backward glances.  The games of make believe are at an end._

“Alright Cas, you got this.  Do you remember what I taught you?”  Dean asked his friend with a quick wink.

 

“Yes, Dean. I do.”  Castiel responded as he took the shot of whiskey.

 

“What are you two talking about?”  You chuckled as the boys carried on their cryptic conversation.  You turned to the angel of your dreams as he gave everyone a quick nod and got up from the table, walking towards the bar. 

_Past all thought of if or when, no use resisting.  Abandon thought and let the dream descend._

“Seriously…what the hell is going on?”  You asked, turning towards Dean.

 

“Cas said he wanted to find a girl…so I figured I would help him out.”  Dean said with a smirk on his face.

 

Your heart began to race, pounding in your chest as you saw Castiel grab two more shots from the bartender. 

 

Were those for you?  You wondered to yourself.  Was Castiel finally going to make a move?  You were hopelessly in love with the angel, and had been dropping hints, but he had never acted on it.  Had Dean finally convinced him to do it?

_What raging fire shall flood the soul? What rich desire unlocks its door? What sweet seduction lies before us?_

You turned your back to the angel as you quickly as you straightened out your shift and finished off your drink.  You didn’t want to make him seem like he didn’t do something right when he came back and you still had your drink. 

 

And you waited for a moment, waiting to hear that husky voice of his call out your name.  Ask you if you wanted to get a table of your own.  Man, you were so ready for this.  You tried to hold back a smile at the thought. 

 

“Score!  You go, Cas!”  Dean shouted playfully, making your smile falter.

 

“What?” 

_Past the point of no return. The final threshold?_

You turned around and your heart stopped.  At a small table, near the front of the entrance, sat Castiel with the two drinks…and a tall, skinny brunette. 

 

You watched as the angel talked with the woman, leaning on the table, just as Dean would if it were him.  You could feel your heart breaking as you realized that Castiel wanted a relationship, but he didn’t pick you…

_What warm, unspoken secrets will we learn? Beyond the point of no return?_

Your mind swam with questions.  Questions that you hadn’t fretted about since your first crush in high school.  Why didn’t he want you?  Were you not good enough?  Were you not a good enough hunter?  They ran through your mind five at a time, making your self-esteem and confidence plummet. 

 

“Oh, looks like he is doing good!”  Dean joked as he nudged you in the arm.  But you couldn’t respond, you just stared down at the table for a moment, before looking back up at the handsome angel who apparently wanted nothing to do with you.

 

_You have brought me, to that moment where words run dry. To that moment where speech disappears into silence, silence._

“What do you think?  I’m a good teacher right?”  Dean asked you, watching as his best friend put his well-trained skills to good use. 

 

You opened your mouth to say something, but the words wouldn’t come out.  All you could do was watch as Castiel ran a hand up the woman’s arm, probably giving her a cheesy Dean Winchester line.

 

“Hey…you alright?”  You heard Sam say.  But you couldn’t pull your eyes away. 

_I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why._

You began to feel your blood boil in anger.  Why didn’t he want you?  Why would he pick a stranger over you?  This was Castiel, he was a kind hearted angel, you were always there when he needed someone to talk to.  And you… You were there when he lost his grace, you stayed by his side when he was human.  Why wouldn’t he pick you? 

 

“Dean…”  You heard Sam say in a worried tone.  But again, your eyes never left the angels. 

_In my mind I've already imagined our bodies entwining, defenseless and silent, and now I am here with you, no second thoughts, I've decided, decided._

You let yourself imagine for a moment what it would be like to be that woman.  What would it be like to be that woman?  What lines would Castiel use on you, what corny jokes would he make to try to impress you?

 

Would he be straight forward?  Would he be shy?  These questions were jarred from your mind when you felt Sam’s hand on your shoulder.  You didn’t need to see his face to know he was feeling bad for you, so you just stared straight ahead.

 

_Past the point of no return, no going back now. Our passion play has now at last begun._

Castiel really was doing well.  He leaned forward and whispered something into the woman’s ear, making her blush and giggle.  It was probably one of those really dirty pick-up lines that Dean uses on bartenders. 

 

You shook your head as you felt tears fill your eyes.  He was better than that.  He didn’t need cheap tricks to get women to fall in love with him.  He just needed to be himself.  Why the hell would Dean tell him any different? 

_Past all thought of right or wrong, one final question.  How long should we two wait before we're one?_

“Oh, man…”  Dean said in a sorrowful tone.  “I am…I am so sorry, I didn’t know…” 

 

You pushed his hand from your shoulder as you saw the woman reach down and lay a hand on Castiel’s leg.  The tears fell down from your face.  She slowly shifted her hand up until it was rest at the top of his thigh, letting him know she was interested. 

_When will the blood begin to race? The sleeping bud bursts into bloom? When will the flames at last consume us?_

“Why don’t we go back to the bunker?”  Sam asked you as your blood began to boil in anger.

 

That woman was a stranger, she didn’t really care about Castiel.  Why couldn’t he see that?  Why couldn’t he just see you?

 

“Hey!”  Dean grabbed your shoulders and turned you to look at him as he used on hand to wipe off the tears.  “I am so sorry…”

 

It was the look in Dean’s eyes that finally set you off.  That look of pity.  You didn’t want Dean’s pity, you wanted Castiel’s love.  But you apparently weren’t going to get that. 

 

It struck you, in that moment.   You knew what you had to do. 

 

_Past the point of no return, the final threshold. The bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn._

You moved quickly, before Dean or Sam could stop you.  You snatched up your jacket and threw it on as you stormed away from the table, towards the exit.  God must be laughing at you now, or the devil, because Castiel’s table was in between you and the door. 

 

You moved quickly, trying to get out and away from the sight of Castiel wooing someone other than you.  As you moved, so did Castiel.  He didn’t see you, causing you to shove into his shoulder as you walked, pushing him back against the table as you threw open the door. 

_We've passed the point of no return._

When you reached the door, last whole piece of your heart broke as you heard Castiel say the woman, “I am so sorry about my friend.  I don’t know why she was being so rude.” 

 

With those words, you pushed the door open and ran out.  You heard Dean and Sam call after you, begging you to stop.  But you didn’t…you didn’t stop until you were three states away, sitting alone in your motel room, realizing that after everything that just happened, you would probably never hunt with…hell, probably never even see, the Winchesters, or Castiel, ever again. 


	2. Chapter 2

It had been two weeks since that night.  That night that had ripped out your heart, ripped it into a million pieces, stomped on it, and then put it on fire.  You think that is a bit much…it’s not.  It was exactly how you felt.  You loved Castiel.  Loved him!  And yet…he went after someone else, right in front of you…

 

So you ran.  It was the only thing that made sense.  You couldn’t stay.  You couldn’t watch Cas be with another woman.  You could handle the looks of pity from Sam and Dean, so you just ran.  And now…you laid bed in this shitty motel room as you cried your eyes out, wanting nothing more than to just fade away into nothingness.  At least the nothingness wouldn’t hurt.

 

You sat up, having to actually tell your body to respond.  Your head was pounding from a headache that stemmed from too much alcohol, not enough water, and too much crying.  As you rose up, your leg brushed a bottle and knocked it to the floor.  It shattered on impact, and all you could do is stare down at the broken glass and begin to cry again.

 

That bottle was your life, broken and unfixable.  Looking around, you saw more bottles, random food bags from fast food places and diners.  You had been a wreck since you left, and you knew it.  You had been wallowing in your loss of love…but now…maybe it was time…time to put your life back together.

 

You pulled yourself off the bed and made your way to the bathroom.  You needed to get your life back on track.  Get out of this depression and start hunting again.  As you stood in front of the mirror, you saw your hair in a disheveled mess.  For a moment, you let your self-esteem drop, you let yourself think… ‘look at you, no wonder he picked someone else’. 

 

With that depressing thought, you made yourself to the shower and began to wash up.  Luckily, this crappy motel had wonderful water pressure and great hot water.  You just stood in the shower, letting the water run over your head.  You tried to imagine the self-doubt and heartbreak washing off of your body, polling up and then going down the drain. 

 

The image was nice…but it wasn’t working.  So instead, you focused the how the hot water felt as it ran over your body.  You made use of the shampoo and conditioner the motel gave in those little sample bottles.  You turned your mind to focus on pampering your body.  You had been a bit hard on it lately, but you now decided that it was time to move on. 

 

Castiel didn’t want you.  He made that pretty damn clear.  You wallowed, you cried, you drank yourself unconscious…three times.  It was time to just move on.  You could do it, you told yourself as you sighed.  You could do it, you just couldn’t let yourself think about him, or the boys, or your heart ache, or your love…you just needed to put them all aside and focus on you, on your hunting. 

 

After the shower, you stood in the bathroom, doing all the things you wouldn’t have done before, just to pamper yourself.  You blow dried your hair and used the straightener to make it look nice.  You put on lotion, brushed your teeth, plucked your eyebrows, anything you could think of to do to keep you from walking out of that bathroom door. 

 

Because you knew…once you walked out of that door, you had to face reality again.  You had to try to move on.  It would be hard, it would hurt, and you weren’t quite ready for that yet.  So you wasted as much time in the bathroom as possible, but the moment eventually came where you had to face the music. 

 

You wrapped your towel securely around you as you stepped out, making a mental note to watch for broken glass.  You went to walk over to your new duffle (you had to buy all new things after you ran) and froze.  Your eyes locked on to the bed…it was made.  The glass from the broken bottle was gone.  With a quick look around, you noticed that the room looked like it had been thoroughly cleaned…but that was impossible.

 

Fear went through your heart as you ran to your duffle and pulled at the crappy gun you bought from a pawn shop, unclicking the safety as you did a quick sweep of the room.  But your heart stopped when you looked to the door.

 

There he was.  Just standing there.  His disheveled black hair, his piercing blue eyes, that damn trench coat.  Castiel.  You froze for a moment, but then closed your eyes tightly.  A few deep breaths, that’s all you needed.  He wasn’t really there, just breathe.  You opened your eyes again and noticed he was still standing there, giving you a sad look. 

 

That was it.  That look of sadness, pity.  You had been fighting depression and sadness and self-loathing for two weeks, but that look… that look took you to the next step in the grieving process. 

 

Anger.

 

You raised the gun and pointed it at the angel.  “Get out.”  You spoke with a controlled voice, but your hand was shaking.  Your body and brain and heart were all at war.  One said to put the gun down, you could hurt him.  The other said he ripped your heart out, don’t let him near.  The third begged you to just run into his arms, wrap yourself up in that trench coat, and go home…but you could only stand there, pointing the gun as you saw flashes of him flirting with that woman go before your eyes. 

 

“Please.  I must speak with you.”  Castiel said as he took a couple steps forward.  But he stopped when you cocked the gun, pulling the hammer back with your other hand.  “You know that won’t do anything to me.”  He said calmly.

 

“Yea…well, it is the only defense I have.”  Your voice cracked as you took a couple steps back.  Part of you was feeling like a caged animal.  You didn’t want to be here, you didn’t want him to be here.

 

Castiel gave you a hurt look before raising his hands, as if offering his innocence.  “I would never hurt you.  Why would-.”

 

“Bullshit!”  You screamed at him.  “Bullshit, you fucking liar!”  Tears began to stream down your face as you poured all of the emotion from the last two weeks into your words.  “You say you would never hurt me, but you did.  You fucking did, Castiel!” 

 

Cas flinched at the sound of his name.  Not only was it dripping with venom and hurt, but you also said his full name.  Something you hadn’t done since you first met him.  He had equated his nickname ‘Cas’ as a term of endearment.  But you were no longer using it.  “I did not meant to-.”

 

“Screw you!”  You screamed as you slammed the gun down the table.  You knew it was no good anyway, you could never shoot Castiel.  “Screw you, you feathered fucktard!  I threw out hints left and right.  I was there for you when no one else was.  Dean kicked you out of the bunker, who was there?” 

 

Castiel’s eyes went down to the ground at your question.  He had a guilt-ridden look on his face, and it was the only thing that gave you comfort.  Maybe he felt bad for breaking your heart…but then again, it didn’t change the fact that it was still broken.

 

“WHO?!”  You screamed at him.  Your tears fell freely, your voice was weak and raspy, but you didn’t care.  All you could think was he was probably here for his own damn conscious.  To make sure you didn’t get yourself killed because of him, so he wouldn’t be at fault. 

 

“You were.”  Castiel spoke softly, looking back up to you.  His eyes shone with something unfamiliar as you continued to rip into him. 

 

“Damn straight!  It was me!  It was fucking me, Castiel.  I was there!  I was there when you were human, I was there when you were an angel, when you were God.”  Each statement brought you one step closer to him, until you were almost nose to nose with him. 

 

“I was the one who taught you how to make those sandwiches you like.”  You poked him in the chest, making your anger spike.  “I was the one who patched you up after a rough hunt.”  Your poke turned to a light shove.  Enough to make an impact, but not enough to move him…yet.  “I was the one who would sit up with you at night when you had nightmares!”  You shoved him again, this time he took a few steps back against the force.  You glared at him as his eyes went wide at your harshness, at your violence.  He had never seen you like this before. 

 

You staggered back as your hands went into your hair, almost pulling at the strands as you tried to keep yourself in check.  “I was always there for you, I always loved you.  But I-.”  Your voice cracked and you finally let yourself go.  The tears turned to sobs as the self-hatred and doubt filled your veins.  “I’m still not good enough for you.”  You choked out.

 

Castiel’s eyes went even wider at your statement.  The shock of your words shot through him as you dissolved into a fit of sobbing.  “What?!  Am I not pretty enough?  Not a good enough hunter?  Am I too fucking weak?  What is it?!”  You screamed and stumbled, making you fall to your knees as you sobbed. 

 

You wrapped your arms around yourself for comfort.  You had gone two weeks without a friendly touch, a comforting word.  You were all alone.  This was the only way you were able to get through these moments.  You had to be strong for you.  “I was…I was finally gonna move on, Castiel...why…why did you come find me?”  You cried, curling your body into itself, wanting to simply not be there anymore. 

 

You suddenly felt a weight and warmth around your shoulders.  Two hands were on your cheeks, wiping away the tears before pulling you into something hard and warm.  You opened your eyes and saw that the weight on your shoulders…was Cas’ trench coat.  The hands were his…and you were now wrapped up in his arms, crying into his chest. 

 

“I am so sorry.”  Castiel spoke.  His voice was raspier than usual.  “I never meant to make you feel like this.  I hate myself for making you feel like this.”  He squeezed you tighter and began rubbing your back with one hand.  He laid his head against yours as he continued to speak in soft, whispered tones.

 

“I didn’t know you felt this way.  If I had known…”  His voice tapered off as you held your breath.  What was he saying…if he would have known?  You moved your head and looked up at him.  The breath you were holding came out quick as you saw he now also had tears running down his cheeks.  His once beautiful blue eyes were turned pink from the tears. 

 

“Castiel?”  You asked, almost pleadingly.  You needed to know what he was going to say.  It would haunt you if you didn’t know.  “What do you mean…if you had known.” 

 

Castiel leaned forward and gave your forehead a soft kiss as he took a staggered breath.  “If I had known you felt the same way about me…I would have never sought out someone else.” 

 

You choked as you sucked in air.  Did he…what…did…no…no…this isn’t happening.  You tried to push him away, but he only held you close. 

 

“Please…please, listen to me.” 

 

“No, no, no, no…you don’t….you…”  You couldn’t get the words out.  The world seemed to be spinning, really spinning.  Was Cas trying to fly you somewhere.  You kept pushing against his chest, trying to free yourself from his grasp.  It was too tight, it was too much.  Your heart was pounding and your ears ringing.  But even so, you heard his next words clear as day.

 

“I love you.” 

 

You tried to gasp in air, but you couldn’t.  It was like your lungs weren’t working.  You looked to Cas with tears in your eyes. “I-I…”

 

His head tilted to the side and you saw the worry in his eyes…but then everything went dark. 


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing that came to you was…it was a dream.  It had to have been a happy…cruel, sadistic dream.  But then you heard something.  Your eye lids were heavy, so you weren’t able to open them quite yet, so you took in the sound.  It sounded like…singing.  It was some strange dialect, some different language.  But it was beautiful.

 

That voice, the one that was singing, it sounded so familiar.  You tried to place it, and for a few moments, you couldn’t…but then you realized it.  Castiel.  Your eyes flew open as you felt a comforting warmth against you.  You were met with a dark color, a soft feeling. 

 

You tilted your head back a bit, letting your eyes focus, when you realized you were curled up against Cas.  Your head was on his chest, his arm wrapped around your back.  When did you move to the bed?  Why were you using Cas’ trench coat as a blanket?  Why were you curled up next to the angel?  When did you manage to put clothes on?  You went to sit up, but Cas held you firm.

 

“Don’t strain yourself.  Let me help.”  He moved along with you as you sat up, holding you close to him as he did so. 

 

“What…what happened?”  You put your hand to your head.  Ugh, why did you keep waking up with this awful migraines?  You really needed to stop drinking your worries away.  Granted…after this ordeal with Cas-.

 

_‘I love you.’_

You froze.  You heard him say those words.  You know you did. 

 

“Are you alright?”  Castiel asked as he felt your body go rigid.  “Please take deep breaths.  I believe you passed out due to a panic attack earlier.  I do not wish to repeat that moment.”  He ran a hand down your arm as he tried to look you in the eye, but you just stared at the comforter. 

 

“You said you loved me…”  Your voice was small, hesitant.  You feared what his response would be.  What if he said no, what if you misheard in your panicked state?  Or…oh, God.  What if he said…

 

“Yes.  I did.  I do love you.” 

 

Your eyes snapped up to his and you shook your head.  “Then why did you go after some other girl?  You don’t do that to people you love, Castiel.”  You wanted to sound angry, but you couldn’t.  Your brain was still trying to process, it couldn’t handle anything else at the moment. 

 

“I know…and I’m sorry.”  You watched as the guilt and shame crossed Castiel’s face.  You had seen that look so much over the past few years, you had come to know it well.  It was the look of self-hatred, self-doubt.  A look you hated to see on his face.  “I never thought you could love me.  So I asked Dean to help me find someone.  I thought…”

 

You pulled is chin up, forcing him to look at you again.  “You thought what, Cas?” 

 

His eyes shifted as you said his name, as if the little nickname you used meant the world to him.  “I thought if I found someone else, I would be able to forget my feelings for you.”  He went to reach up to your face, to touch you, but he stopped.  He seemed to have thought for a moment and went to move away.

 

But you were quicker.  You were quick to take his hand and place it against your cheek, as he was getting ready to do.  “That is idiotic logic, Cas.  If you loved me, then why…”

 

“The same reason you ran away.”  He said as he ran a thumb down your cheeks.  “I couldn’t bear being around you if you didn’t love me back.  I thought I could get rid of the emotion if I was with someone else...  It seems to work well for Dean.”

 

“That’s why it is idiotic logic, Cas.”  You deadpanned.  But you couldn’t help the soft smile that was forming on your face.  Only Castiel, angel of the lord, would think that that stupid plan would have worked.  You ran your fingers up and through his hair, trying to settle it down.

 

His eyes fluttered close and he nudged into your hand, as if the very touch alone made his world better.  Your smile widened as you worked up the courage to speak.  “I do love you, Cas.  I always have…I always will.” 

 

Cas smiled down at you and gave a happy sigh.  “I realize that now.  And it makes me happier than I could ever express with words.”  He continued to stroke your cheek, but his finger dipped lower and ran across your bottom lip.  “I have hurt you so much.  I must earn your trust back, and beg your forgiveness, and I have no right to ask.  But I must…”  He gave you a look of uncertainty, followed by a tight gulp.  “May I kiss you?”

 

You never thought your heart could beat like this.  It was running a marathon, it seemed.  Just the thought of kissing Cas had you blushing like a school girl.  You knew words would fail you, so you had to use action.  A thought went through your mind as you wrapped a hand around his neck, slowly pulling him closer.  You made the thought a prayer as your lips brushed against his. 

 

_‘I forgive you, Cas.’_

You could tell by how Castiel responded that he heard your prayer.  He quickly wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his body, deepening the kiss.  He moved his lips against yours for a moment before pulling away.  “I love you.”  He whispered, making you smile wide.

 

“I know you do…well…now I do.”  You gave a soft chuckle as you pulled him back in for another kiss, letting your arms move up around his shoulders, your hands weaving through his thick dark hair.  You gave a gentle pull as you moved against him, making him give a soft moan. 

 

You pulled away, working hard to get your breathing under control.  Cas leaned his head against yours as he did the same.  “I love you, Cas.”  You whispered to him, a big smile filling both of your faces as the words.  “And you love me?” 

 

He nodded as he spoke.  “I do love you.”  He ran a hand up your arm and around the back of your neck.  “I will always love you, and cherish you, from this moment on.  I will devote my time to earning your forgiveness and trust.  I will love you until the stars themselves fade.” 

 

Damn…Cas was like a poet.  His words of love and devotion filled your heart.  You couldn’t believe he was whispering them to you.  “I was so afraid that I had lost you forever.”  He said, making your heart ache for a moment.  He pulled you in for another quick kiss, making your heart begin to pound all over again.

 

When he pulled away, you gave him a smirk.  “Show me…”  You stated, staring up into those beautiful sapphires that were his eyes. 

 

He looked confused for a moment, asking a silent question of you.  You smiled wide as you shifted, pushing him back a little as you swung a leg over him, straddling him on the bed.  “Show me how much you love me, Cas.  I need to know.”  You begged him.

 

His eyes darkened as the realization of what your words meant descended upon him.  He quickly wrapped you up in his arms, capturing your lips in the process, and flipped you around so you were laying back on the bed as he hovered over you.  He pushed his trench coat off to the floor as he stared down at you.  “I will show you…if you show me.”  He said boldly. 

 

Something inside of you broke and all you could think was how badly you wanted to be against Cas, have him touching you, holding you, making love to you.  In this moment, you reached up and pulled him down gently for a kiss.  Part of you wanted to just rip his clothes of and take him right there…but there was another part, a stronger part, who was ready to show Cas just how much you loved him. 

 

You slowly moved your hands down his neck and body, removing his suit jacket as you did so, throwing it to the side.  After letting it fall to the ground, you worked your way back up his body, unbuttoning his white shirt as you did so. 

 

Cas’ eyes never left your face as you worked his shirt open.  He was watching your love and want for him fill your face.  There was no doubt in his mind anymore that you loved him.  And he would be damned if he ever let you go again.  “I searched for you.”  Cas said softly as you reached the last couple buttons. 

 

You looked up at him, pausing as your hand reached his tie.  You didn’t know what to say. 

 

“When you left the bar…Dean told me what had happened.  I ran after you…but you were gone.”  He ran a hand down your body as he continued to speak.  “I never stopped.  Sam and Dean tracked you, but we were always too late.  When we finally found you here, I was so relieved.” 

 

He leaned down and kissed your forehead.  “Please don’t ever leave me like that again.” 

 

You gave a soft chuckle as you worked his tie loose.  “Don’t flirt with other women and I won’t have to.”  You joked as the knot finally came loose, letting you pull the tie from around his neck, sending it flying off to the side. 

 

“I will never flirt with another woman again.  You have my word.”  One of his hands rested on your lower stomach, his thumb running over the hem as he searched your eyes for his answer.  When you gave him a nod, he looked back down to your body as his hand slowly moved up your body, pulling the shirt along with his thumb.  He quickly wrapped an arm around your back as he lifted you up to pull the shirt over your breast and shoulders, eventually letting it fall to the ground with the other discarded clothes. 

 

“You are so beautiful.”  He said as he fingers traced your collar bone.  His hand spread out as he let it travel down the valley between your breasts and to you navel, where he let his thumb run a few circles before he made his way back up.  When he reached your breasts, he leaned down and gave a gentle suck on your nipple. 

 

You threw your head back against the pillows at the feeling.  His tongue was warm as it circled, before giving another suck.  His soft hand slowly massaged your breast as he worked it.  He then turned his attention to the other and gave it the same treatment, making you feel like your body was being worshiped. 

 

When he pulled away, you pulled him up to capture his lips again, before having a quick thought.  “Cas?”  He hummed a response against your skin as he began slowly kissing your neck.  “How did I get clothes on?” 

 

He never stopped touching or kissing you as he spoke.  “I used my grace to dress you.  I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” 

 

You moaned as he placed a kiss on a sensitive spot, arching your body up and into his as you did so.  A moment later, you felt a breeze go across your skin, making you look down.  “Uh…where did the rest of our clothes go?” 

 

“Grace.”  Was all he offered as he pulled you in for another kiss as he ran his hand down your side and around to cup your ass, pulling you up against him.  You could feel his growing erection pressing against your thigh as he pulled your body closer.  “Didn’t want to move away to remove them.” 

 

You chuckled against his lips as you hummed a response.  “That’s handy.”  You quickly moved a leg around and up his, loving the feeling of his warm body against yours.  You had dreamed of this so many times, you couldn’t believe you are finally here with him. 

 

“Want to feel you, to touch you…”  He moaned out.  You were quick to run a hand down his body and take a handful of his ass. 

 

“Then touch me, Cas.  I am yours now.”  His eyes locked with yours as he smiled.

 

“You are mine now…and I am yours.”  He let his hand trail down your body and your inner thigh.  Your eyes followed the movement and your heart beat quickened as you watched him hike your leg up and around his butt.  He shifted a little until he was nestled right between your legs, staring down at you as you felt his erection meet your entrance.  “I want your permission before I go on.” 

 

You ran a hand through his hair as you spoke.  “I love you, Castiel.  I will always want you like this, and every other way I can have you.” 

 

That seemed enough for Cas as he kissed you sweetly, and gently pushed into you.  You both were moaning at the feeling.  He stretched you and reached places you didn’t even know you had.  You had to actually tell yourself to breathe.  Breathe in, breathe out. 

 

“You feel…so good…”  Cas mumbled against your neck.  You could feel his muscles shifting as he tried his best to hold still, letting you adjust.  But that wasn’t what you wanted. 

 

“Cas…”  You moaned out.  “Need to…move…” 

 

He slowly shifted his body, pulling out and pushing back in.  You couldn’t help the moans that slipped from your mouth, calling his name as he took you slowly.  And he was in a similar state, praising how good you felt, how beautiful you were.  You had never experienced something as intimate as this. 

 

Cas hovered over you, giving soft kisses every few moments, but other than that, you two just stared into each other eyes as he made love to you.  His hands ran over your body and yours over his, but neither of you could bear to look away from each other’s eyes.  You could see his love for you written in there, as if you were the only thing in this world that mattered to him. 

 

You closed your eyes as you threw your head back, “Oh, Cas...”  He hit a spot inside you that was making you squirm.  It felt so good, but it was so intense.  And the pace Cas was going at was almost too slow.  You shifted your hips with him trying to get a bit more speed, but Cas just held you still.

 

“If you keep moving like that, I won’t be able to hold back…”  He held your hip down as he took a deep breath.  His chest was moving quickly, his breathing being labored as he struggled to keep himself in control.

 

“Then don’t.”  You whispered into his ear as you laid some kisses against his neck.  “Take me, Cas.  Make me yours.”  You whined into his ear as you tried to move your hips again, but Cas still held you, not letting you move. 

 

He looked down at you as he shifted his weight, wrapping one arm around your back and putting the other up against the head board.  You saw a confident smirk cross his face before he kissed you, making you want more of him. 

 

And that was what he gave you.  His once gentle demeanor seemed gone, and it was replaced with a sex God of epic proportions.  He held onto you with one arm, using the other as a tether against the wall, making sure you didn’t slide up the bed as he pushed into you.  He started out slow, like he had been doing, but quickly picked up pace and strength. 

 

“Cas…oh, Cas!”  You screamed out as he wildly thrust into you.  How he could be so gentle and so wild within two minutes was beyond you, but it was just what you needed.  He grunted and moaned as he took you, claiming you as his. 

 

You couldn’t hold back your words, your sounds, giving yourself up to the feeling that was Cas.  You had to hold onto him, wrapping your arms around his neck and shoulder as he thrust, they were so powerful they shifted you up the bed. 

 

“Nhgh….feel…so…good.”  He spoke with each thrust.  You could tell he was getting close by his erratic movements and sounds.  And you were right there with him.

 

“Cas!  Ghah, Cas…yes!  Right there, baby, yes!”  You screamed as he tightened his hold on you.  Between his hold and you clutching him, you weren’t even on the bed anymore, simply pressed against his body as he pounded into you.

 

“So….close…gonna..”

 

“Let go, baby…wanna feel you….”  You tried to focus, but you couldn’t.  Everything was Cas.  His arm wrapped around you, clutching you so tight against him.  His breath as it came out in quick bursts against your neck.  The way his cock felt inside you.  It was too much.. “CAS!”  You screamed as you felt your orgasm rip through your body.  Your whole body seized, making you cling to him.  Your arms tightened around him, your legs came up and squeezed against his. 

 

You heard him cry out your name as he gave a few more hard thrusts, feeling you tighten around him, riding out his own high.  The two of you just held onto each other as you gasped for air.  There was a sheen of sweat over both of your bodies, your muscles aching, yet thankful, from what just happened. 

 

Cas leaned down and laid you back on the bed, letting his arm unwrap from your body before collapsing at your side.  You panted as you looked over to him, loving how beautiful he seemed.  His eyes closed, mouth open slightly as he breathed, his hair was a mess from your fingers winding through it, he had a couple hickies that you had left in your wake. 

 

A smile formed on his lips as he turned his head to face you, his eyes opening and staring into yours.  “I love you…I hope I showed you that…” 

 

You couldn’t contain the bubble of laughter that escaped you as you rolled over, into his side.  He lifted his arm so you could settle against his chest, pulling you close against his body as he leaned down and kissed you.  “You showed me, alright.  And I love you, Cas.  Did I show you that, too?”

 

He smiled as he rested his head against yours, whispering soft words in enochian.  You didn’t have to know what they meant to hear the love and devotion behind his words.  You settled against his chest, listening to his heart beat as you realized that everything would be different now, in a good way.  You had Cas, and he had you.  And there was no going back.  You had passed a point of no return, and you were glad.  Because now you could love him, and he could love you. 


End file.
